The Power of Wanting to Help: Navigating Resistance with Empathy

Have you ever genuinely wanted to help someone,

but were met with resistance instead?

It's a common scenario that many of us encounter in our personal and professional lives. Whether it's offering support to a friend in need or trying to assist a colleague with a project, meeting resistance can be challenging. However, with empathy and understanding, it's possible to navigate these situations with grace and effectiveness.

Let's dive into a relatable example to illustrate this point:

Imagine you have a close friend who has been struggling with work-related stress. You genuinely want to help them find ways to manage their workload and alleviate their anxiety. So, you reach out to offer your support and suggest some strategies that have worked for you in the past.

However, instead of accepting your help, your friend responds with resistance. They brush off your suggestions, insisting that they can handle the situation on their own and that they don't need your assistance. At first, you might feel frustrated or discouraged by their reaction. After all, you only want to help them overcome their challenges and feel better. But rather than giving up or pushing harder, you pause and take a moment to consider their perspective.

You realize that your friend may be feeling overwhelmed or embarrassed about their situation. They may worry about burdening you with their problems or appearing weak by accepting help. Understanding this, you approach the situation with empathy and sensitivity.

Instead of insisting on your solutions, you gently validate your friend's feelings and reassure them that it's okay to ask for help. You offer to listen without judgment and let them know that you're here to support them in any way they feel comfortable.

Over time, as your friend feels more understood and supported, they may or may not accept your help, and it is up to you to chose how to move forward in offering help in the future. One option is to remain neutral whether your friend accepts your help or not, respecting their choice to ask for or accept assistance. Neutrality allows for all possibilities to arise, and it keeps the door open for change.

Navigating this situation with patience, empathy, and willingness to meet your friend where they are with a neutral perspective, you remain available to break through their resistance and provide the help they need. Furthermore, by acknowledging and validating the other person's feelings, you can create a supportive environment where true collaboration and problem-solving can thrive.

So, the next time you encounter resistance while trying to help someone, remember to pause, empathize, and listen. With patience and compassion, you can overcome barriers and make a meaningful difference in the lives of others. After all, sometimes the greatest act of kindness is simply being there, ready to lend a helping hand when needed most.

Lora Seibert

ACC Trauma-informed

Gender Affirming Life Coach